Domus Publica
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Surely You Can’t Be Serious
The Life and Times of a Rounding Error
“Excuse me, Your Excellency?”
Moff Governor Designate Cyril, Viscount Gneiken l’Nova, looked up from the tabletop display board and arched his eyebrow to
acknowledge (in his own peculiar way) that he was in fact listening to the man who’d just addressed him. “Yes, Surface Marshal?”
Surface Marshal Burlow – Commander in Chief, Altuhar Sector Army – cleared his throat, which in the Lord Gneiken l’Nova’s
experience was a sure indicator that he was about to deliver bad news. “Excellency, we have a bit of a problem.”
The Lord Gneiken l’Nova straightened himself from leaning over the display board and adjusted his Service Olive tunic. He’d been in
Altuhar Sector barely a week, and already he’d learned to loathe the sound of Burlow clearing his throat. It was the very herald and
harbinger of headache and long hours of work. The recent and entirely unexpected suicide of Moff Valdiz and the disappearance of
many members of his Cabinet had made life very difficult for the Viscount, who had originally been assigned to the Sector as
Commander in Chief of the Sector Group, Burlow’s Naval counterpart. He was rapidly discovering that perhaps Valdiz’s decision to
shoot himself may not have been such a bad idea.
“How small of a problem are we talking about here, Surface Marshal?”
Burlow cleared his throat again. “Approximately the size of an Army Group,” he said sheepishly.
The Viscount pursed his lips, attempted to say something, then closed his mouth again. He exhaled deeply, opened his mouth again,
and discovered that he had still not yet found his voice. While he thus found himself out of sorts, his longtime advisor and alter ego,
the recently-appointed Sector Command Master Chief Petty Officer N’vak rose to the occasion:
“I don’t think you explained that quite as clearly as you could have, sir,” he said, rather more sharply than one might usually find an
enlisted rating addressing a senior commissioned officer.
Burlow’s back straightened out a bit more. He resisted the immediate impulse to remind the Master Chief of the difference between
their ranks; N’vak was a highly-decorated special operations type, which alone made him far more insouciant than Burlow would
have liked for a non-commissioned officer to be – not to mention the fact that he was the Lord Gneiken l’Nova’s pet senior enlisted
advisor. “If you had given me a moment to explain, Master Chief, I would have.”
It was a situation that was entirely unknown for a man like Burlow, defending himself before a man whom he’d outranked as early as
thirty seconds after his graduation from the Academy.
“Then I suggest you start explaining now, Surface Marshal,” the Viscount said, finally finding his voice. “Why do I have a problem
the size of an Army Group?”
“Because, Excellency, on reviewing the current deployments for the Sector Army, I’ve discovered that we’ve been receiving funding
for the Seven Hundred Fourteenth Imperial Army Group,” Burlow said.
“Yes, I know. The Seven Hundred Fourteenth has a fine reputation amongst the Core Worlds,” the Viscount said, not quite intending
to remind the Surface Marshal of his own far superior pedigree and connections, but nevertheless managing to do so.
“The problem, Excellency,” Burlow answered, clearing his throat for a third time – the Viscount’s face twitched, and he braced
himself for some particularly bad news – “is that the Seven Hundred Fourteenth Imperial Army Group does not exist.”
N’vak set down his steaming mug of caf. “I know the Army runs things differently from the Navy, sir, but I’m not sure I understand
how you can lose an entire Army Group.”
“We didn’t lose it, Master Chief, it never existed. As nearly as I can tell, we started receiving funding for it as the result of a rounding
error in a Senate appropriations bill, and Governor Valdiz’s Cabinet embezzled the funds.”
The Viscount closed his eyes and covered his face with his hand. “Surely you can’t be serious,” he said, his voice a sort of hybrid
between amusement and despair.
“I am quite serious, Excellency,” Burlow said, not at all pleased to have made this discovery.
“This is the last thing I need, Surface Marshal,” the Lord Gneiken l’Nova said. “Valdiz’s abrupt departure has already drawn entirely
too much attention to this backward Sector. I don’t need investigative hearings to add to my problems.” He looked at N’vak, then
back at Burlow. “Freeze the funding to the Seven Hundred Fourteenth immediately. I have to discuss this with my superiors.”
Moff Governor Designate Cyril, Viscount Gneiken l’Nova, looked up from the tabletop display board and arched his eyebrow to
acknowledge (in his own peculiar way) that he was in fact listening to the man who’d just addressed him. “Yes, Surface Marshal?”
Surface Marshal Burlow – Commander in Chief, Altuhar Sector Army – cleared his throat, which in the Lord Gneiken l’Nova’s
experience was a sure indicator that he was about to deliver bad news. “Excellency, we have a bit of a problem.”
The Lord Gneiken l’Nova straightened himself from leaning over the display board and adjusted his Service Olive tunic. He’d been in
Altuhar Sector barely a week, and already he’d learned to loathe the sound of Burlow clearing his throat. It was the very herald and
harbinger of headache and long hours of work. The recent and entirely unexpected suicide of Moff Valdiz and the disappearance of
many members of his Cabinet had made life very difficult for the Viscount, who had originally been assigned to the Sector as
Commander in Chief of the Sector Group, Burlow’s Naval counterpart. He was rapidly discovering that perhaps Valdiz’s decision to
shoot himself may not have been such a bad idea.
“How small of a problem are we talking about here, Surface Marshal?”
Burlow cleared his throat again. “Approximately the size of an Army Group,” he said sheepishly.
The Viscount pursed his lips, attempted to say something, then closed his mouth again. He exhaled deeply, opened his mouth again,
and discovered that he had still not yet found his voice. While he thus found himself out of sorts, his longtime advisor and alter ego,
the recently-appointed Sector Command Master Chief Petty Officer N’vak rose to the occasion:
“I don’t think you explained that quite as clearly as you could have, sir,” he said, rather more sharply than one might usually find an
enlisted rating addressing a senior commissioned officer.
Burlow’s back straightened out a bit more. He resisted the immediate impulse to remind the Master Chief of the difference between
their ranks; N’vak was a highly-decorated special operations type, which alone made him far more insouciant than Burlow would
have liked for a non-commissioned officer to be – not to mention the fact that he was the Lord Gneiken l’Nova’s pet senior enlisted
advisor. “If you had given me a moment to explain, Master Chief, I would have.”
It was a situation that was entirely unknown for a man like Burlow, defending himself before a man whom he’d outranked as early as
thirty seconds after his graduation from the Academy.
“Then I suggest you start explaining now, Surface Marshal,” the Viscount said, finally finding his voice. “Why do I have a problem
the size of an Army Group?”
“Because, Excellency, on reviewing the current deployments for the Sector Army, I’ve discovered that we’ve been receiving funding
for the Seven Hundred Fourteenth Imperial Army Group,” Burlow said.
“Yes, I know. The Seven Hundred Fourteenth has a fine reputation amongst the Core Worlds,” the Viscount said, not quite intending
to remind the Surface Marshal of his own far superior pedigree and connections, but nevertheless managing to do so.
“The problem, Excellency,” Burlow answered, clearing his throat for a third time – the Viscount’s face twitched, and he braced
himself for some particularly bad news – “is that the Seven Hundred Fourteenth Imperial Army Group does not exist.”
N’vak set down his steaming mug of caf. “I know the Army runs things differently from the Navy, sir, but I’m not sure I understand
how you can lose an entire Army Group.”
“We didn’t lose it, Master Chief, it never existed. As nearly as I can tell, we started receiving funding for it as the result of a rounding
error in a Senate appropriations bill, and Governor Valdiz’s Cabinet embezzled the funds.”
The Viscount closed his eyes and covered his face with his hand. “Surely you can’t be serious,” he said, his voice a sort of hybrid
between amusement and despair.
“I am quite serious, Excellency,” Burlow said, not at all pleased to have made this discovery.
“This is the last thing I need, Surface Marshal,” the Lord Gneiken l’Nova said. “Valdiz’s abrupt departure has already drawn entirely
too much attention to this backward Sector. I don’t need investigative hearings to add to my problems.” He looked at N’vak, then
back at Burlow. “Freeze the funding to the Seven Hundred Fourteenth immediately. I have to discuss this with my superiors.”
| * * * * * |
Grand Moff Governor Josef Reglius looked at the datapad in front of him with stupefied disbelief. Finally he brought his gaze back
to his Secretary of State for Home Affairs, who had deposited the offending document on his desk bare moments before. After a
moment or two of groping for words, he finally managed to express himself: “Surely you can’t be serious.”
The Home Secretary gave an open-handed gesture – a common one on his homeworld of Corulag, which expressed a feeling
somewhere between “I had nothing to do with it” and “Don’t shoot the messenger” – and sighed. “I’m afraid so, Excellency. The
Seven Hundred Fourteenth doesn’t exist.”
Reglius clenched and unclenched his hands in helpless rage. “I fail to see,” he said, “how nobody in my entire administration seems to
have noticed that the unit I planned to use for Operation Hammer Fall does not even exist! Where did its reputation come from if it
never existed? Why was I told that it would work perfectly if it didn’t exist? What in Chaos am I paying you for?” Things had
recently gone sour in Reglius’s relationship with his sponsors in the Privy Council on Imperial Center, and he was a tempting and
vulnerable target to the Senate’s less cooperative members without their protective shield... especially after quiet accusations that he
was himself corrupt.
Which of course were true. He’d been accepting under the table payments from Valdiz for years. Apparently he’d just found out
where Valdiz had found so much money.
“Excellency, we’re already tracking down Valdiz’s confederates in this scheme,” the Home Secretary said, trying to soothe the Grand
Moff’s smoldering rage, and at the same time beginning to make plans for his career that didn’t involve being a member of Reglius’s
Cabinet.
to his Secretary of State for Home Affairs, who had deposited the offending document on his desk bare moments before. After a
moment or two of groping for words, he finally managed to express himself: “Surely you can’t be serious.”
The Home Secretary gave an open-handed gesture – a common one on his homeworld of Corulag, which expressed a feeling
somewhere between “I had nothing to do with it” and “Don’t shoot the messenger” – and sighed. “I’m afraid so, Excellency. The
Seven Hundred Fourteenth doesn’t exist.”
Reglius clenched and unclenched his hands in helpless rage. “I fail to see,” he said, “how nobody in my entire administration seems to
have noticed that the unit I planned to use for Operation Hammer Fall does not even exist! Where did its reputation come from if it
never existed? Why was I told that it would work perfectly if it didn’t exist? What in Chaos am I paying you for?” Things had
recently gone sour in Reglius’s relationship with his sponsors in the Privy Council on Imperial Center, and he was a tempting and
vulnerable target to the Senate’s less cooperative members without their protective shield... especially after quiet accusations that he
was himself corrupt.
Which of course were true. He’d been accepting under the table payments from Valdiz for years. Apparently he’d just found out
where Valdiz had found so much money.
“Excellency, we’re already tracking down Valdiz’s confederates in this scheme,” the Home Secretary said, trying to soothe the Grand
Moff’s smoldering rage, and at the same time beginning to make plans for his career that didn’t involve being a member of Reglius’s
Cabinet.
| * * * * * |
“Surely you can’t be serious. They faked an entire Army Group?” Janus Greejatus smirked in his own singularly annoying and
uniquely supercilious fashion. “It certainly has the virtue of originality in its favor.”
“I don’t find the matter all that amusing, Janus,” said Lord Bal Jaset, his partner in this conversation, lifting his cup from its saucer.
“This has the potential to be quite embarrassing.”
“Don’t be absurd,” Greejatus answered, waiving his hand languidly as he sat up from the chaise onto which he had arranged himself.
“It’s a passing curiosity, nothing more.”
“You know very well that the business with Newm’try has the Senate all up in arms. It will probably be weeks before the IRU-ND
can restore something like order, and in the meantime its mood is not at all pleasant.”
“Are you concerned they’ll depose your protégé, Lord Bal?” Greejatus said, smiling. “Or did you think I’d not noticed that the Moff
on the scene is one of House Melantha’s many sons?”
“Don’t’ be so smug, Janus,” Lord Bal riposted, “I seem to recall your own interests in Reglius’s appointment.”
“Reglius is being a bother at the moment,” Greejatus said, his mood momentarily dampened. “I’m rather thinking about dumping him
altogether.”
“You may not have to,” Lord Bal said, taking a drink from his tea. “The Senate might do the job for you.”
uniquely supercilious fashion. “It certainly has the virtue of originality in its favor.”
“I don’t find the matter all that amusing, Janus,” said Lord Bal Jaset, his partner in this conversation, lifting his cup from its saucer.
“This has the potential to be quite embarrassing.”
“Don’t be absurd,” Greejatus answered, waiving his hand languidly as he sat up from the chaise onto which he had arranged himself.
“It’s a passing curiosity, nothing more.”
“You know very well that the business with Newm’try has the Senate all up in arms. It will probably be weeks before the IRU-ND
can restore something like order, and in the meantime its mood is not at all pleasant.”
“Are you concerned they’ll depose your protégé, Lord Bal?” Greejatus said, smiling. “Or did you think I’d not noticed that the Moff
on the scene is one of House Melantha’s many sons?”
“Don’t’ be so smug, Janus,” Lord Bal riposted, “I seem to recall your own interests in Reglius’s appointment.”
“Reglius is being a bother at the moment,” Greejatus said, his mood momentarily dampened. “I’m rather thinking about dumping him
altogether.”
“You may not have to,” Lord Bal said, taking a drink from his tea. “The Senate might do the job for you.”
| * * * * * |
“Surely you can’t be serious,” said Senator Gracian Pildr’th as he strode down the passageway leading to his office from the Senate
Defense Committee Chamber. “They did what?”
“They’ve been embezzling the funds for an Army Group for the past five years, Mr. Chairman,” said the ISB special agent, as he
kept pace with the Chairman of the Senate Defense Committee and a handful of other Senators.
“Ya’l Umiga,” Pildr’th breathed. He took the datacard but didn’t look at it, and then paused for a breather – he was no longer quite as
young or as svelte as he liked to remember himself as being. “As if I didn’t have enough problems already. Don’t these idiots ever
think about anything other than their own pocketbooks?”
“Well, Valdiz wasn’t the only one,” said Senator Sãbir. “Reglius is under investigation for official corruption, but if he’s guilty, he’s
been a good deal more conventional about it than to fake an Army Group. It remains to be seen if he’s on his way out or not.”
“Oh, wonderful,” Pildr’th groused. He began walking again, and the rest of his entourage moved with him; it was rather nice, being able
to set the pace, Pildr’th reflected privately. “Mothma’s going to have a field day with this, you know.”
“She doesn’t need to know about it,” one of the other Senators said.
“Who are you kidding?” Sãbir looked at the fellow askew. “She always finds out about these things. Why do you think we keep her
off the important Committees, even as a backbencher?”
“How long until we can expect to see a report on this in committee?” Pildr’th said, looking at the ISB whiteshirt – who was
uncomfortably out of his league in a crowd of Senators and Senate Committee Chairmen.
“It is difficult to say, Mr. Chairman,” he answered. “But I should think that Governor Gneiken’s – ”
“Governor Gneiken l’Nova,” corrected one of the Senators – who just so happened to be the Viscount Gneiken l’Nova’s first cousin.
“Excuse me, Senator, Governor Gnieken l’Nova,” the special agent said, not quite clear on why he’d been corrected or why it mattered
to the Senator in question. “I expect his official report on the matter will find its way to the Senate in a few weeks.”
“Well, then,” Pildr’th said. “We have about two weeks in which to figure out how to contain this mess.”
“In the meantime,” said Bail Organa, “We simply have to keep Mothma from hearing about it.”
Defense Committee Chamber. “They did what?”
“They’ve been embezzling the funds for an Army Group for the past five years, Mr. Chairman,” said the ISB special agent, as he
kept pace with the Chairman of the Senate Defense Committee and a handful of other Senators.
“Ya’l Umiga,” Pildr’th breathed. He took the datacard but didn’t look at it, and then paused for a breather – he was no longer quite as
young or as svelte as he liked to remember himself as being. “As if I didn’t have enough problems already. Don’t these idiots ever
think about anything other than their own pocketbooks?”
“Well, Valdiz wasn’t the only one,” said Senator Sãbir. “Reglius is under investigation for official corruption, but if he’s guilty, he’s
been a good deal more conventional about it than to fake an Army Group. It remains to be seen if he’s on his way out or not.”
“Oh, wonderful,” Pildr’th groused. He began walking again, and the rest of his entourage moved with him; it was rather nice, being able
to set the pace, Pildr’th reflected privately. “Mothma’s going to have a field day with this, you know.”
“She doesn’t need to know about it,” one of the other Senators said.
“Who are you kidding?” Sãbir looked at the fellow askew. “She always finds out about these things. Why do you think we keep her
off the important Committees, even as a backbencher?”
“How long until we can expect to see a report on this in committee?” Pildr’th said, looking at the ISB whiteshirt – who was
uncomfortably out of his league in a crowd of Senators and Senate Committee Chairmen.
“It is difficult to say, Mr. Chairman,” he answered. “But I should think that Governor Gneiken’s – ”
“Governor Gneiken l’Nova,” corrected one of the Senators – who just so happened to be the Viscount Gneiken l’Nova’s first cousin.
“Excuse me, Senator, Governor Gnieken l’Nova,” the special agent said, not quite clear on why he’d been corrected or why it mattered
to the Senator in question. “I expect his official report on the matter will find its way to the Senate in a few weeks.”
“Well, then,” Pildr’th said. “We have about two weeks in which to figure out how to contain this mess.”
“In the meantime,” said Bail Organa, “We simply have to keep Mothma from hearing about it.”
| * * * * * |
“Surely you can’t be serious,” said Senator Mon Mothma, looking up from the datapad which had been anonymously left on her
desk. “They actually tried something so outrageous?”
“Tried what, Mothma?” Senator Mushayr looked at his friend suspiciously; she was awfully excited about something, and these
anonymous datapads she sometimes found were usually tips about something good.
“Altuhar Sector,” she said, trying without success to conceal her amusement. “You remember Moff Valdiz?”
“I remember him being unusually effeminate, if that’s what you mean.”
“No, no,” she waived this off. “I mean the fact that he shot himself a few weeks ago.”
“I thought that was Moff Uhrloqayr.”
“Uhrloqayr overdosed on his medication, Mushayr. Valdiz shot himself.”
“Oh.” Mushayr wrinkled his brow, but then shrugged. It was hard to keep track of these things sometimes. “Well, what about him?”
“Well, it seems he was up to his eyes in corruption. You know the Seven Hundred Fourteenth Imperial Army Group?”
“Of course I do. It has one of the finest field records in the Army.”
“It doesn’t exist.”
Mushayr arched his eyebrow. “What do you mean it doesn’t exist? We’ve all heard stories about the mighty Seven Hundred
Fourteenth.”
“Well, it turns out we made a rounding error in one of our appropriations bills and gave Altuhar too much funding. Someone in
Valdiz’s Cabinet had the bright idea of making up an Army unit to justify the funding, and they all embezzled it.”
“Ah,” Mushayr said. “Well, it’s very creative.”
“Yes, but that’s a tremendous amount of money being embezzled.”
“Not so tremendous that we noticed it.”
Mothma gave Mushayr a wry look. “A billion here, a billion there, and pretty soon we’re talking real money,” she quoted. “In any
case, this is a wonderful opportunity.”
“How is it a tremendous opportunity? Valdiz is already dead.”
“Think about it, Mushayr. Valdiz had ambitions all out of proportion to his abilities. I went to school with him, remember? He
wanted to be a Privy Counsellor. What does a corrupt man with a huge purse and ambitions to match do with his money?”
Mushayr shrugged. “He probably bribes someone.”
Mothma smiled. “Exactly.”
desk. “They actually tried something so outrageous?”
“Tried what, Mothma?” Senator Mushayr looked at his friend suspiciously; she was awfully excited about something, and these
anonymous datapads she sometimes found were usually tips about something good.
“Altuhar Sector,” she said, trying without success to conceal her amusement. “You remember Moff Valdiz?”
“I remember him being unusually effeminate, if that’s what you mean.”
“No, no,” she waived this off. “I mean the fact that he shot himself a few weeks ago.”
“I thought that was Moff Uhrloqayr.”
“Uhrloqayr overdosed on his medication, Mushayr. Valdiz shot himself.”
“Oh.” Mushayr wrinkled his brow, but then shrugged. It was hard to keep track of these things sometimes. “Well, what about him?”
“Well, it seems he was up to his eyes in corruption. You know the Seven Hundred Fourteenth Imperial Army Group?”
“Of course I do. It has one of the finest field records in the Army.”
“It doesn’t exist.”
Mushayr arched his eyebrow. “What do you mean it doesn’t exist? We’ve all heard stories about the mighty Seven Hundred
Fourteenth.”
“Well, it turns out we made a rounding error in one of our appropriations bills and gave Altuhar too much funding. Someone in
Valdiz’s Cabinet had the bright idea of making up an Army unit to justify the funding, and they all embezzled it.”
“Ah,” Mushayr said. “Well, it’s very creative.”
“Yes, but that’s a tremendous amount of money being embezzled.”
“Not so tremendous that we noticed it.”
Mothma gave Mushayr a wry look. “A billion here, a billion there, and pretty soon we’re talking real money,” she quoted. “In any
case, this is a wonderful opportunity.”
“How is it a tremendous opportunity? Valdiz is already dead.”
“Think about it, Mushayr. Valdiz had ambitions all out of proportion to his abilities. I went to school with him, remember? He
wanted to be a Privy Counsellor. What does a corrupt man with a huge purse and ambitions to match do with his money?”
Mushayr shrugged. “He probably bribes someone.”
Mothma smiled. “Exactly.”
| * * * * * |
“Ya’l Umiga!” Pildr’th covered his face with his hands. “She found out.”
Bail Organa set his tea back on the saucer. “I’m sorry, what?”
“Mothma found out about this Altuhar business. She’s making a big stink about it.”
“Well, Gracian, why don’t you stop her? That’s been your job for years.”
“I can’t, not this time.” He shook his head. “You know how she is. It takes her a while to get started, but once she hits her stride, she’
s insufferable. She’s already hit her stride on this one, in the Senate and with the holomedia. And she’s not attacking the State this
time, she’s going after corrupt officials misusing official power. It’s well past the stage that I can contain her.”
“Greejatus will be furious. I do believe he was in line for Naraku’s seat on the Ruling Council,” Organa said, running his hand over his
goatee. “Still, I wonder how Mothma found out about this?”
Bail Organa set his tea back on the saucer. “I’m sorry, what?”
“Mothma found out about this Altuhar business. She’s making a big stink about it.”
“Well, Gracian, why don’t you stop her? That’s been your job for years.”
“I can’t, not this time.” He shook his head. “You know how she is. It takes her a while to get started, but once she hits her stride, she’
s insufferable. She’s already hit her stride on this one, in the Senate and with the holomedia. And she’s not attacking the State this
time, she’s going after corrupt officials misusing official power. It’s well past the stage that I can contain her.”
“Greejatus will be furious. I do believe he was in line for Naraku’s seat on the Ruling Council,” Organa said, running his hand over his
goatee. “Still, I wonder how Mothma found out about this?”
| * * * * * |
“Accursed woman,” Greejatus growled, as he looked without appetite at the breakfast that Lord Bal seemed quite heartily to be
enjoying.
“Whatever is the matter, Janus?” Lord Bal said with saccharine concern. “Surely this hasn’t got anything to do with Reglius’s
resignation, has it? Or is it your own subpoena?”
“They can’t subpoena me!” He said, flinging aside the plate and glasses on the table in front of him. “I’m a member of the Privy
Council! I am immune to prosecution!”
“To an extent, yes,” Lord Bal agreed. “But a subpoena isn’t prosecution, and the Senate can still require your testimony. The
subpoena is just a publicity stunt arranged by the Chandrilan wench.”
“Well, it’s cost me that seat on the RCON!” He roared, pounding his fist into the table before subsiding back into his seat.
“Temporarily, I’m sure.” Lord Bal smiled; he had every reason to smile: the Senate had just commended the Lord Gnieken l’Nova for
his integrity and House Melantha was safely free of any potential negative consequences to the affair. “After all, you didn’t know
anything. I’m sure His Imperial Majesty is only postponing your appointment.”
“Yes, yes, wonderful,” Greejatus sulked. “Now I have to wait until someone else dies, resigns, or retires. And in the meantime Blista-
Vanee has my seat!”
“At least you didn’t suffer the indignity of having the Senate depose your client,” Lord Bal said. “He had the common sense to
resign.”
“He’s going to have the common sense to die,” Greejatus muttered.
“I didn’t hear that,” Lord Bal said off-handedly, taking a bite of his own breakfast. “It’s a pity that you’re too upset to eat, today’s
breakfast is superb.”
enjoying.
“Whatever is the matter, Janus?” Lord Bal said with saccharine concern. “Surely this hasn’t got anything to do with Reglius’s
resignation, has it? Or is it your own subpoena?”
“They can’t subpoena me!” He said, flinging aside the plate and glasses on the table in front of him. “I’m a member of the Privy
Council! I am immune to prosecution!”
“To an extent, yes,” Lord Bal agreed. “But a subpoena isn’t prosecution, and the Senate can still require your testimony. The
subpoena is just a publicity stunt arranged by the Chandrilan wench.”
“Well, it’s cost me that seat on the RCON!” He roared, pounding his fist into the table before subsiding back into his seat.
“Temporarily, I’m sure.” Lord Bal smiled; he had every reason to smile: the Senate had just commended the Lord Gnieken l’Nova for
his integrity and House Melantha was safely free of any potential negative consequences to the affair. “After all, you didn’t know
anything. I’m sure His Imperial Majesty is only postponing your appointment.”
“Yes, yes, wonderful,” Greejatus sulked. “Now I have to wait until someone else dies, resigns, or retires. And in the meantime Blista-
Vanee has my seat!”
“At least you didn’t suffer the indignity of having the Senate depose your client,” Lord Bal said. “He had the common sense to
resign.”
“He’s going to have the common sense to die,” Greejatus muttered.
“I didn’t hear that,” Lord Bal said off-handedly, taking a bite of his own breakfast. “It’s a pity that you’re too upset to eat, today’s
breakfast is superb.”
| * * * * * |
“Well, that went over reasonably well,” Mushayr said as he emerged from the Senate Investigative Committee Chamber. “Greejatus did
a fair job of defending himself, I think.”
“Mmm,” Mothma said, shifting her load of datacards to her other arm. “Yes, but did you hear what he said about Valdiz’s connections
with the Government?”
“Hmm? Oh, I thought he was just trying to deflect attention from himself. He’s really rather angry about all this.”
“He should be. We managed to knock him out of the running for the RCON.” She smiled. “And good riddance. The man’s a veritable
menace.”
“Yes, but he’s also a financial genius.”
“So is Il-Raz. That doesn’t mean he’s not a megalomaniacal psychopath.” She shrugged. “At any rate, I’m going to look into this
Government connection Greejatus mentioned. Do you think you can postpone the next hearing for a week or so?”
a fair job of defending himself, I think.”
“Mmm,” Mothma said, shifting her load of datacards to her other arm. “Yes, but did you hear what he said about Valdiz’s connections
with the Government?”
“Hmm? Oh, I thought he was just trying to deflect attention from himself. He’s really rather angry about all this.”
“He should be. We managed to knock him out of the running for the RCON.” She smiled. “And good riddance. The man’s a veritable
menace.”
“Yes, but he’s also a financial genius.”
“So is Il-Raz. That doesn’t mean he’s not a megalomaniacal psychopath.” She shrugged. “At any rate, I’m going to look into this
Government connection Greejatus mentioned. Do you think you can postpone the next hearing for a week or so?”
| * * * * * |
“What did she say?” Gracian Pildr’th said, his head resting heavily on his hand, anchored against his desk. He’d had a long night,
sustained by liberal consumption of whiskey. This fight with the Budgetary Committee over Dr. Wessex’s proposed design would be
the death of him.
“You heard me,” said Senator Sãbir. “She announced to the holomedia this morning her belief that Valdiz’s embezzlement of funds
involved kickbacks and bribes at the Regional and Imperial levels, going all the way to the Office of the Minister President. Mushayr
says she’s got solid evidence this time. He’s issuing the subpoena to the Minister President this morning.”
Pildr’th exhaled heavily; his head throbbed, and dealing with Mothma invariably increased his blood pressure, even under the best
circumstances – which the current situation decidedly was not. “And what does the Minister President have to say about all this?”
Sãbir’s facial expression conveyed something akin to apologetic amusement. “Uh, by last report, nothing. He’s barricaded himself in
his office and refuses to come out.”
Pildr’th covered his face with his hands. “Surely you can’t be serious.”
sustained by liberal consumption of whiskey. This fight with the Budgetary Committee over Dr. Wessex’s proposed design would be
the death of him.
“You heard me,” said Senator Sãbir. “She announced to the holomedia this morning her belief that Valdiz’s embezzlement of funds
involved kickbacks and bribes at the Regional and Imperial levels, going all the way to the Office of the Minister President. Mushayr
says she’s got solid evidence this time. He’s issuing the subpoena to the Minister President this morning.”
Pildr’th exhaled heavily; his head throbbed, and dealing with Mothma invariably increased his blood pressure, even under the best
circumstances – which the current situation decidedly was not. “And what does the Minister President have to say about all this?”
Sãbir’s facial expression conveyed something akin to apologetic amusement. “Uh, by last report, nothing. He’s barricaded himself in
his office and refuses to come out.”
Pildr’th covered his face with his hands. “Surely you can’t be serious.”
| * * * * * |
Grand Moff Governor the Viscount Gneiken l’Nova set down the datapad he’d been reading and turned his chair to look out the
window at the beautiful panoramic view of the capital city beyond it. It had been about six months since Surface Marshal Burlow had
come to him to report that he’d had a bit of a problem approximately the size of an Army Group that didn’t exist. In the meantime, the
late Moff Valdiz’s missing Cabinet secretaries had been apprehended, tried, and sent to the disintegration booth; Grand Moff Reglius
had resigned and subsequently died in a turbolift accident; Janus Greejatus had been knocked out of the running for a seat on the Ruling
Council and his rival Kren Blista-Vanee had been elevated in his place; he himself had been elevated to succeed the late Grand Moff
Reglius; and the galaxy had stood and watched in morbid fascination as stormtroopers blasted their way into the Ministerial
Presidential office and dragged the Minister President of the Galactic Empire kicking and screaming into custody.
Ah, well, he reflected. Stranger things have happened.
window at the beautiful panoramic view of the capital city beyond it. It had been about six months since Surface Marshal Burlow had
come to him to report that he’d had a bit of a problem approximately the size of an Army Group that didn’t exist. In the meantime, the
late Moff Valdiz’s missing Cabinet secretaries had been apprehended, tried, and sent to the disintegration booth; Grand Moff Reglius
had resigned and subsequently died in a turbolift accident; Janus Greejatus had been knocked out of the running for a seat on the Ruling
Council and his rival Kren Blista-Vanee had been elevated in his place; he himself had been elevated to succeed the late Grand Moff
Reglius; and the galaxy had stood and watched in morbid fascination as stormtroopers blasted their way into the Ministerial
Presidential office and dragged the Minister President of the Galactic Empire kicking and screaming into custody.
Ah, well, he reflected. Stranger things have happened.
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This short story was originally published in December 2004. It was republished on 26 January 2007.